NotDreaming

Sometimes everything is so beautiful I want to cry (like fall foliage blazing against an overcast and darkening sky....)

Sometimes I feel under appreciated (usually, really), taken advantage of, and conspired against reaching my so-called potential (for whatever I can do or may possibly be good at...whatever that is...)

Sometimes I long to feel the child I'll never have in my arms. (it will never happen, but sometimes I feel and hear a clock ticking...)

Sometimes I wonder if the Post Fruit/Cocoa Pebbles creators got their inspiration from the colorful and/or dried leaves littering the ground. (strange association maybe... but that's how it looks to me sometimes...)

Halloween will be here soon. I'm sure as a child I loved this holiday (free candy? an excuse to be a little monster? what's not to like?) but as an adult, (and a cynical whiney one at that, yes, I'm aware of it) I really hate it. I don't plan to reward the obnoxious little bastards in my neighborhood for their bad behavior. Maybe some neighborhoods have decent kids that don't block traffic and don't annoy drivers. Maybe you live in Pleasantville? Oh, if only. But I don't. They're nasty little monsters with no need for costumes.

And why do people feel the need to dress up as monsters/ghouls/etc. and scare people when you just need to turn on the news? There's enough ugliness in this world. No need to add to it. Or to the fear. Just another overly commercialized gimme-fest. Get your own!

Blech.
(I guess it's still a but too early for "humbug!"....unless of course you've been to a store recently...it's Christmas there already. )

(0) comments

Strange to me that such an explosion of beautiful color signifies the death of a season. (or the beginning of one, depending on how you look at it). Also strange to me how some years I pay more attention to the blooms of spring, and some, more to the colorful trees of fall. Makes me feel old to have another year almost over and know I didn't do much of what I intended to do (or told myself I would at the beginning). Soon the holidays will be here and we'll all have to pretend how happy we are and how great everything is. It's something to look forward to if you actually do those festive things. And have cooperative family who want to. Hard not to envy those people who actually feel happy & festive.

(0) comments

Sad to hear that Christopher Reeve died. A bunch of political cartoonists pay their respects here. Interesting how so many of them are the same. The article I read about him just before he died talked about his hope for the future, and his disappointment at the rate of his progress (to walk again). Depressing.

(0) comments

So many headaches. No relief. Days and days of eye strain and head pain and heavy heart. A nightmare of minimal proportions I suppose (all things considered). But it's still unbearable at times. "Normal" at others. Sad what "normal" is. I want that life that others take for granted. (or the one where they know how well off they are, and rub it in peoples faces, so they in a sense, deserve to lose it. at least for a while). Hm.

(0) comments