NotDreaming

How to take advantage of a day off....that was the question. Original? No. Of course not. But every time there is one, I always want to do *everything*. Ok, that's unrealistic I guess. But there's so many things I don't allow myself to do, to enjoy. A movie. Ten minutes of music. (heaven forbid I feel good for a few minutes, depending on the music I'd choose). An actual Friday off though, such potential. Had to resist the urge to clean. Always get these cleaning binges when I'm depressed. If only they made a difference. (all the times I'm depressed my house should be fucking spotless! But its nowhere near that). Ugh.

Watching depressing movies when one is on the verge of spiraling is *not* a good idea. Of course, if you have no idea (you were on the verge, surprise! and no idea) what the movie you're about to watch is about, you kind of deserve what you get. Yea. And so it goes. At least one had some pretty cool lines. ("We're in the United States of Depression"....Yes admit it, "we're a Prozac Nation." Gee, which movie did I watch? ahem.)

Since I'm on roll (or spiral, whee!) I might as well watch another. Free day. Even a decently sunny (no, I like it gray actually, and cool, not stuffy and bright and warm like the normal people like it) day. Did I do anything practical? Probably not. Why do most days feel like a waste?

Sometimes they're not. Those few precious days are still a long time away. Can you predict your own good days? Sometimes I can. (maybe that's the problem. nothing can compare...)